no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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