i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
