Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
