You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
