I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
