piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.