Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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