You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
