i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
