Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
