The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
you never un-have a 4some
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
