I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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