Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
