I wish life had little blips of pornography
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize