I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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