Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
