wat bout pragnant strippers??
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
