Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
