So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I have aggressive nipples.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
