quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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