Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
