Do you still have your period?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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