I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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