he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize