So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
