Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
are you so shy because you have an std?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
