yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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