; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
