The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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