I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
