he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
