I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
