So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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