if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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