apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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