We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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