So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
