i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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