we have pet lesbian snakes
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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