I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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