Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
