I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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