I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
