Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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