Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
