my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
