I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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