Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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