You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize