Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
