i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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