her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
