Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
smell my finger.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
