Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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