because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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