In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Randomize