I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
