I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
