Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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