So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
